Tuesday, February 8, 2011

#2 Why Idiots Hate Gandhi: Part-1

I know, I'm in trouble. It's not just because I'm printing my name in the bad books of Gandhi-haters. It's because I'm afraid I made a huge commitment by typing that 'Part-1'. Gandhi is perhaps the most character-assassinated person in the world; not because of the enormous volume of crap printed about him, but by how successful they've been. This is not a knot that can be unmade in a day. See, convincing people that Gandhi was indeed a great man is very difficult. The reason: the same reason you can't explain the integrity of Film-making to the champions of "commercial" cinema, and why you wouldn't dare try explaining a five year-old the meaning of the word "orgasm".

Before I begin in earnest, a statement: I am not a Gandhian. A true Gandhian would never call another person an idiot. I merely admire Gandhi a lot, and am quite irritated by misinformed jingoistic bigots.

Well, let me start with the question I usually ask Gandhi-haters: Why do you hate Gandhi?
Pat comes the reply: Because, he was responsible for the death of Bhagath Singh.
This happened to me on three different occasions, in three different places, and the respondents were from three different states. Long live Conspiracy Theories!

John F Kennedy- arguably America's most-loved President.
Imagine the conversation:
Dude1: Man, I hate JFK.
Dude2: What? Seriously man, of all people- JFK?
Dude1: Yeah. John-Fucking-Kennedy.
Dude2: Oh. (Ponders for sometime, and tries to change the subject) Dude, who's the guy on your Tee?
Dude1: That's Che Gwu-Vaera.
Dude2: You mean, 'Che' Gae-Var-ah?
Dude1: Whatever.
Dude2 (unable to control his curiosity): Why do you hate JFK again?
Dude1: Neil-fucking-Armstrong, man. That lying son-of-a-bitch.
Dude2: Sorry?
Dude1: Dude, he never landed on the fucking moon. He didn't even get into a rocket, that old fraud.
Dude2 (knowing look on face): Oh!
Dude1: Oh yeah, Dude! It's all a huge god-fucking lie. The chimps shot the "one step of a man" video in a place called Area 47.
Dude2: You mean Area 51?
Dude1: Yeah, whatever.
Dude2: But, what the fuck does any of that have to do with JFK?
Dude1: Man, he was the one who started the Apollo-shit-me-Mission.
Dude2: Dude, JFK was dead by the time they, erm- landed on the moon.
Dude1: Oh. Was he?

Agreed, the probability of that conversion to ever occur is very remote. But, if at all something similar does occur, Dude1 wouldn't feel very smug about himself at the end of the conversation.

But Gandhi, on the other hand- gets to be hated by a sizable lump of India's teenagers because, You-Know-Why! The pity here is- these Conspiracy-Theory-Gandhi-Haters feel quite cool about it, something like (some guesswork here) belonging to an elite well-informed class.

Very few men earn the respect and admiration of their peers, enemies included. But there is only one who was celebrated as a Mahatma during his lifetime. And, he doesn't deserve to be hated- just for the sake of being hated.

Coming up next: Nathuram Godse's Famous Speech.

5 comments:

  1. Lousy conversation between dude 1 and dude 2.

    no essence.

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  2. There is a subtext, brother. Nothing on the first layer.

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  3. As you no doubt know, the conversation is a ploy. Tell me the weakest part of it, and I shall start explaining my intent from there.

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  4. He actually was responsible for the death of bhagath singh, sukhdev and rajguru. He and irwin were signing pacts at that time(1930). All he had to do was make a firm stand and negotiate. And moreover he strived to free prisoners who were satyagrahis(according to him were the only true warriors). Revolutionaries rotted in jail for more than twice their term and nobody cared. And he openly asked people to stop following the revolutionaries without even talking to a revolutionary leader about there ideals first. Why? He thought of them as misled young men. And still he made his famous dandi march when this "misled young men" were stirring up a storm. Impeccable timing eh? So, kindly refrain from name calling.
    P.S I'm not a gandhi hater, just don't like the way no one is ready to accept that he made some bad desicions.

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